The voices of me

My feelings are much more complex than i ever thought.. I thought it has been under controlled...but it doesnt seem so. SOmeone else are controlling it...

This is the 6th day of separation.. during this 6 days, most of my days are miserable. From the starting of trust...to the end of doubt... There are too many things around for me to look at, and think of. Too many factors making me to choose to end this. But what am i holding on to??

Question has been in my head for days... should i trust or should i doubt. Should i go or stay? I admit, i tend to think alot more than you do, however this might not be a negative point. You gained my trust at the very first, but the factors make me doubt on you. Maybe its not ur fault, cause i've lost confidence in trusting. It is not an easy job to do anyway.. it needs more effort...efforts of you and me.

How to trust when i'm not ready to trust? Can this be taught? I seriously dun like this kind of feelings.. its tiring to guess what people are thinking of.. and what will be their next moves... what are the hidden motives? What are they trying to hint? Which sentence to believe and which sentence are to be void. Are they really serious in this relationship?

I might seems to be strong...but really i cant take any blows.. esp not for the moment now.. motivating myself to the answer...to the decision.. Helping myself to make the decision without regrets.. but this could not be done by just a few days... it takes a day to love... it takes a week to hate...but it might takes a month or a year to forget.. Thats the structure of human's brain..

It take courage, will power to make a decision, however, emotions ruins everything... u destroyed the wall that i built for 3 months using just a stone.. a wall which i built it with tears.. with courage, with hatred just to protect my heart from getting hurt again.

With just a stone... you can easily get to my heart... but i just hope that you're coming to protect my heart..but not hurting it... cause its going to die...