Feeling weird~

A little weird for my situation now.. its like nothing has happened.. i had this feeling like i'm forcing myself to do all these and causing someone to suspect it, and treating it unreal. And of course i hurted someone.. my decision seems nothing but i somehow feel tt its a cause of everything and it has an big impact on him.. i dunno how he feels now, but i just cant stop thinking of his feelings when he sits beside me.. Life for me has became easier and carefree.. but, it somehow seems to be too much freedom that i dunno what to do.. suddenly i'm having so much time that i dunno how to spend it.. exams are just next week, and i'm having a feeling that i'm just going to have a mid term test but not finals... but when mid term is here, i have no feelings that i'm having test... Perth changes my life.. and i cant follow the pace. Is this the consequences of forcing myself to enter a life which i dun wish for? I know i can be better, but i dunno how to be better... i'm not appreciating every second of my life... i'm spending it as if, there's more seconds for me.. wasted~ hai~ feeling cold.. its 13 degree now.. and i'm freezing.. hands n legs turned purple!! and i'm like an ghost sitting infront of the computer and typing on the keyboard.. haahaha....Erm.. should change my name to ghost claire!! hahahaha